Intuition. Mama, You’re Not Crazy.
How can we add some evidence to our intuition?
As you’ll know from my last blog, when it comes to the security of my kids, I am cautious to say the least. I can be fearful of silly things but, I wish I’d follow my intuition more. Even though sometimes our intuition can make us sound crazy.
That’s why I love this story of an awesome Mom in Colorado who followed her intuition and called the police on a man who turned out to be a sex offender, after she suspected he was trailing her and her daughter. The Mom, Morgan, said that he just had ‘that unsettling vibe’ and after 30 minutes of feeling like this man was watching her, she made the call. At one point, he tried to make small talk with her but she was able to get a photo of his license plate which led to his arrest.
I love this because for me, a mother’s intuition is real. It’s innate that we want to protect our babies and when a feeling is strong, ladies, we shouldn’t ignore it. Now, at the time, she might have felt like she was crazy and just ignored this feeling. Thank goodness she didn’t!
Matthew Kemper was arrested and booked for failing to register his address. Under Megan’s Law, sex offenders need to register an address to make information available to the public. It turns out Kemper was in jail for rape and unlawful sexual conduct with a minor in 2005 and now he’s back in jail thanks to Morgan.
When it comes to fear and trusting your instinct, Gavin Debecker is my go-to guru. We haven’t met, but I listened to his book “The Gift of Fear” on Audible. I felt pretty dang empowered because his book helped validate my motherly instincts a little better.
“Intuition is a Mama Super Power that I love”- Tara M
5 signs a “nice” stranger might be a threat
Here are 5 tips based on de Becker’s work, to help you identify potentially dangerous situations with strangers.
Do this exercise with me- Imagine an everyday situation. Place yourself at the gym, grocery store, at work, or anywhere normal. A man starts chatting you up, and even though he doesn’t look weird somehow the communication feels a little, um, offish.
*The implied lesson there is that bad guys don’t really have a “look” until afterward when we look back and say, ‘yeah, he looks a little creepy’.
So next time you’re in an unsettling situation, rather than eyeballing it, use this checklist .
If he exhibiting any of these known pre-attack behaviors, you just might have another reason to scram. Go ahead and be rude about it too…
1. Is he offering too many details?
Is he telling you everything about something you don’t really care about? Unless he phD infront of his name and it’s a habit… this chatty detail giver might be giving you a detailed signal that he’s bad news.
If a person gives you stupid amounts of unnecessary details, be wary if it doesn’t feel right. Someone who is lying will often add excessive details in an attempt to sound more knowledgeable and credible.
2. Is he forcing you on to his team? aka “forced-teaming”–
Is this guy abusing pronouns like an English King? “Look at us!” “We aren’t going to take that” “It’s you and me”. Nope. Sorry “you”, I’m out.
This is when someone pretends to have a lot in common with you to get you on their side. Beware of lots of ‘we’ and talk of how much they understand you. Obviously don’t be too suspicious of everyone who is nice to you, but when it doesn’t feel right, bare this in mind.
3. Is he making unsolicited promises?–
Is this guy, that you have only just seen for the first time ever, making all sorts of promises about everything? He might be desperate, BUT promising and promising for no apparent reason has also been shown as a behavior indicative of someone with bad intentions.
This could be a promise to do (or not do) something without any need to do so. For example, ‘if you do this for me, I promise I’ll leave you alone’. These types of promises are very often made to be broken so be very careful.
4. Is he loan sharking–
Often, guys with bad intentions are operating under an “If-Then” premise that they haven’t disclosed. “Really, I’ll get that for you…” Often, from a stranger, this is a warning sign. Don’t take the bait from this shark.
Sometimes someone may give unsolicited help with the intention of getting something back because you then feel obligated to do so. As a Mum, there is plenty of unsolicited advice around for sure, but most of the time, this isn’t from people wanting something in return. Don’t be pushed into anything you don’t want to do just because a person has ‘helped’ you first.
5. Is he not taking ‘no’ for an answer.
You already said “no” right? You meant it, right? If he’s not hearing you, it’s time to make a less than polite exit. Right now.
If you say ‘no’, you mean ‘no’. If someone doesn’t accept that, listen to your alarm bells.
There has been lots of talk about whether a mother’s intuition is real… and the critics actually make a decent point that there isn’t just one motherly instinct. Every mother (and father for that matter) parents to their own drum.
Intuition, according to experts, is a ‘gut feeling’. We speedily pull together what we know in order to make a quick move.
